I first went to therapy when I was in my early 20s. I had moved to a new country with my partner and left my friends and family on the other side of the world. My partner belonged to a conservative religion, and his parents were not happy about our relationship. It was a difficult time.
How did I know that I needed therapy? There were a few signs. First, I found myself thinking about the issue way too much. It took up heaps of internal space in my mind, and I struggled to think about anything else. When you have an issue that is taking up a lot of mental space, this can be a sign that therapy could be useful.
The second indication was feeling incredibly emotional about the situation, much sadder and more hurt than I had ever felt. Over time, I started to feel depressed, something I had never experienced before. I knew that I needed to do something about it. I talked to my doctor at the time, and he offered antidepressants. Because I knew it was a situational depression, I knew that if I could take care of myself better, it would probably lift. I decided not to take the antidepressants and try therapy instead.
These were the two strongest indicators for me. Other things to look out for are the following:
Changes in your physical body, including changes in your sleep patterns, insomnia, ongoing pain, changes in appetite, or unexplained medical issues. You might wonder how a therapist can help with physical symptoms. As a somatic psychotherapist who has worked with the body for many years, I have seen emotional issues show up in the physical body over and over and again but then disappear as the emotional issues shift.
If you have suicidal thoughts or other thoughts that you find disturbing, this is a great time to see a therapist. Most people at different times have had invasive and troubling thoughts. You are not alone. Talking to someone and unpacking the source can be incredibly helpful.
If you notice yourself turning to alcohol, drugs, or other substances to cope with emotions or stress, consider this a red flag. Therapy can help you find healthier coping mechanisms and address the root causes of the impulse to numb or distract.
If you find that you are repeating patterns in relationships, such as always being with people who are unavailable or repeatedly hearing that you are too aloof and it is difficult to connect with you. These patterns can be addressed in therapy, especially if you see a therapist experienced in attachment issues and relational dynamics.
Another reason many people go to therapy is to heal their childhood trauma. Trauma can be broad, ranging from being neglected in a house full of people to severe physical abuse. These events can impact you in adulthood in different ways. If you think your childhood experiences may affect your current quality of life, this is a great reason to see a therapist.
Recognizing these signs and seeking therapy is a brave and important step towards healing and personal growth. Therapy offers a confidential, supportive environment to explore your feelings, understand yourself better, and develop the skills needed to navigate life’s challenges. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength and the first step towards a healthier, happier you.
