Dating patterns have shifted due to the increased role of technology, changing social norms, and the rise of casual, digital-based interactions. While the convenience of online platforms makes meeting people easier, it has also contributed to decreased emotional accountability and respectful communication. This change in dynamics fosters behaviors like ghosting, catfishing, and gaslighting, which are often byproducts of avoidance, emotional detachment, and a lack of accountability in modern relationships. To avoid becoming a victim of these manipulative behaviors in modern dating, it’s important to be aware of red flags, such as inconsistent communication, lack of transparency, abusive behavior, or overly intense affection early on.
Mason Farmani is an intuitive personal and corporate coach, specializing in relationship and emotional healing. Here, he outlines some of the most common tactics and phrases used in modern dating and breaks them down so people can be aware before they get hurt emotionally. The key is to recognize these behaviors and ask questions to get clarity about the relationship rather than allowing it to go on.
Terms to know and understand
- Ghosting: When someone abruptly cuts off all communication without explanation, leaving the other person wondering what went wrong.
- Breadcrumbing: Sending occasional, non-committal messages to keep someone interested without actually committing to a relationship.
- Benching: Keeping someone as a backup while pursuing other romantic interests. You engage just enough to keep them around but don’t prioritize them.
- Orbiting: When someone cuts off direct contact but continues to engage with you on social media by liking posts or viewing stories.
- Catfishing: Pretending to be someone else online to deceive another person, usually in a romantic context.
- Cuffing Season: Refers to the colder months (fall and winter) when people seek out relationships more than during other times of the year.
- Zombie-ing: When someone who ghosted you suddenly comes back into your life without explanation, as if nothing happened.
- Love Bombing: When someone showers you with excessive attention and affection early in a relationship to win you over, often followed by manipulation or control.
- Situationship: A romantic relationship that lacks clear boundaries or labels, often leaving one or both parties unsure about their status.
- Thirst Trapping: Posting provocative or attention-seeking content on social media to attract a potential romantic interest.
- Cushioning: Keeping potential romantic interests on the side to soften the blow if your current relationship doesn’t work out.
- Slow Fade: Gradually reducing communication and engagement with someone until the relationship fizzles out, as opposed to abruptly ghosting.
- Haunting: When someone who ghosted you reappears in subtle ways, like liking your old social media posts, but without directly contacting you.
- Stashing: When someone is dating you but avoids introducing you to their friends or family, essentially keeping you hidden from their social circle.
- Pocketing: Similar to stashing but specifically refers to when someone refuses to publicly acknowledge the relationship, like not posting about it on social media.
- Gaslighting: Manipulating someone into doubting their own feelings, memories, or reality, often used to gain control in a romantic relationship.
- Cloaking: When someone not only ghosts you but also blocks or deletes you from all platforms without any warning, making it impossible to contact them.
- Kittenfishing: A lighter version of catfishing, where someone tweaks or embellishes details about themselves (e.g., using old or heavily edited photos) to appear more attractive online.
- Ghostbusting: When someone calls out a ghoster, confronting them after being ghosted and asking for an explanation.
- Freckling: A seasonal fling that starts in the summer but fizzles out when the weather gets cooler, much like freckles fade away.
To avoid becoming a victim of bad modern dating behaviors, there are several things you can do. Conduct background research, like verifying someone’s information and using video chats to confirm their identity. Set clear boundaries by communicating expectations and refusing to tolerate disrespect early in the conversation. Watch for how they react when upset or triggered. Trust your intuition and avoid rationalizing bad behavior, ever. Take things slowly, ensuring someone’s actions align with their words over time. Guard personal information and use dating apps’ safety features when necessary. Ultimately, staying cautious, trusting your gut, and prioritizing your wellbeing are key to protecting yourself.
