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Strategies From a Life Coach on Coping With Sadness on Valentine’s Day

Not everyone is in love with Valentine's Day.


Photo: Shutterstock

Valentine’s Day can pose significant challenges for single individuals due to various factors. The cultural emphasis on romantic love and relationships during this holiday often makes single people feel excluded or inadequate, especially when surrounded by couples’ celebrations. The pressure to be in a romantic relationship or to engage in elaborate Valentine’s Day plans can intensify feelings of loneliness or frustration for those who are not currently partnered.

Moreover, the commercialization of Valentine’s Day, with its focus on extravagant gifts and romantic gestures, can further exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and isolation. Social media platforms, with their idealized portrayals of romantic relationships, can also contribute to these feelings. Additionally, for individuals who have experienced heartbreak or loss in past relationships, Valentine’s Day may serve as a painful reminder, amplifying feelings of sadness or grief.

Why Do Some People Experience Depression on Valentine’s Day?

  • Breakups and Relationship Issues: For individuals who have recently gone through a breakup or are experiencing relationship problems, Valentine’s Day can be a painful reminder of their current situation.
  • Loneliness: Those who are single or feel lonely may feel left out or inadequate when surrounded by images of romantic love and couples celebrating the day.
  • Unrealistic Expectations: The pressure to create a perfect and romantic day can lead to feelings of stress and disappointment if expectations are not met.
  • Comparison and Envy: Seeing others in happy relationships or receiving extravagant gifts can trigger feelings of jealousy and inadequacy, leading to sadness and depression, especially when your standard is what is portrayed in social media. 
  • Commercialization of Love: Some individuals may feel cynical about the commercialization of Valentine’s Day, viewing it as a superficial and materialistic holiday.
  • Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Valentine’s Day falls during the winter season when daylight is scarce, which can exacerbate symptoms of SAD, a mood disorder characterized by depressive symptoms.

Here are some strategies that may help you cope with sadness on Valentine’s Day:

  1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s important to recognize and accept your emotions, including any sadness or loneliness you may be feeling. Allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgment. Try self-compassion instead.
  2. Reach Out for Support: Don’t hesitate to contact friends, family members, a coach, or a therapist for support. Talking to someone you trust about your feelings can provide comfort and perspective.
  3. Practice Self-Care: Engage in activities that promote self-care and wellbeing. This could include walking, practicing mindfulness or meditation, taking a relaxing bath, lighting up a candle for yourself, or indulging in your favorite hobby.
  4. Limit Exposure to Triggers: If seeing Valentine’s Day-related content exacerbates your feelings of sadness, consider limiting your exposure to social media, television, or other sources of romantic imagery.
  5. Create Your Own Meaning: Remember that Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be solely about romantic love. You can use the day as an opportunity to celebrate love in all its forms, including your love for yourself, your friends, pets, or your family members. Make it a practice to send loving and gratitude notes to your good friends.  
  6. Plan a Self-Love Ritual: Consider engaging in activities that promote self-love and appreciation. This could involve writing yourself a love letter, treating yourself to a special meal or dessert, or pampering yourself with a spa day at home. Studies have shown that if you do this the day before Valentine’s Day you will be better prepared for your feelings. 
  7. Volunteer or Give Back: Helping others can be a meaningful way to shift your focus away from your own struggles. Consider volunteering at a local charity or performing random acts of kindness for others.
  8. Seek Professional Help if Needed: If your feelings of sadness persist or become overwhelming, consider seeking professional help from a coach or a counselor. This can provide you with coping strategies and support to navigate difficult emotions.
About The Author
Mason Farmani

The founder and leader of several thriving companies, both as startups and through acquisitions, Mason Farmani has spent his professional career observing “successful” individuals, including CEOs, business owners, top-level leaders of various industries, and the rising stars of today and tomorrow. Often, despite financial abundance and positions of power, these individuals find themselves unfulfilled, unhappy, and unconnected to who they want to be. For Mason, the driving question has been why?

For years, Mason found himself in the same place at the height of his career but unfulfilled and often suffering from anxiety. He found the answer within himself by connecting with his heart and discovering who he truly was. By experiencing a liberating epiphany, Mason saw his true calling and how his experiences provide wisdom and lessons he can share with others. He then changed careers to commit himself to helping others live with intention, connection, and purpose by reconnecting to their true selves. Mason works one-on-one with clients, becoming their motivational coach, supportive cheerleader, and transformational guide, keeping them focused on their commitments, being honest with themselves, and reconnecting with their hearts.