I am almost 50 now and much wiser about menopause now than I ever imagined I would be. But six years ago, perimenopause almost ruined my life. It threatened my relationships, my mental wellbeing, and my career, and it made me feel out of control in my own body.
It took about four years before I even realized that something was seriously amiss. Then, at the age of 44, I had a period that lasted for three weeks. It was completely out of the ordinary for me, and it wasn’t just spotting. It was full-on, soak-the-tampon every two hours, every single day for 21 days.
I called my doctor about two-and-a-half weeks in (after a lot of frustrating online searches) and told her I thought I needed to come in for tests. I went in, and of course, by then, my period had stopped, and I was feeling guilty that I’d overreacted. She said to me, “We’ll do the tests to put your mind at ease, but you’re 44, and it’s probably perimenopause.”
When I began to dig into perimenopause, I started making the connections that a whole lot of things that had been happening to me were due to this change in my hormone levels.
Chief among those is this thing I call “menopause rage,” where I would just become irrationally angry at everyone and everything with absolutely zero provocation. It got so bad that my husband, who is one of the kindest, sweetest men on the planet, thought I didn’t love him anymore. When that light bulb finally went off for me, I told him that I was having these hormonally induced mood swings, and that I was trying to find ways to deal with them. That made him feel so much better about the state of our relationship, and he became invested in helping me figure it out, too.
I also realized that my dry eyes and sudden allergies were related to this hormonal shift, and so were my episodes of night sweats. I live in the desert, so I thought I was getting too warm due to that, but once I started looking for ways to manage my estrogen levels, those went away completely. I also realized the brain fog I was having did not mean I had early-onset dementia, which was a real fear, too.
Why Perimenopause Matters
First, let’s talk about what perimenopause and menopause are. Menopause occurs 12 months after a woman’s last period. Once she hits that date (and has no further periods), a woman is considered to be in menopause. Perimenopause is the period of years leading up to menopause, and it lasts, on average, seven years, though it’s been known to last as long at 13 for some women.
Most women have never even heard of perimenopause. And what they’ve heard about menopause typically is one, it happens when you’re old, two, you’ll have some hot flashes, and three, your period will end. What they don’t know is that perimenopause comes with 40-plus symptoms that can be potentially devastating to their lives, their relationships, their careers, and their long-term health outcomes.
Combine the 40-plus symptoms of perimenopause symptoms with a lack of knowledge, and the fact that menopause is still this very taboo subject in our culture, and you have the perfect storm for women to have all these devastating impacts with little to no help to guide them through it. To top that off, doctors receive very little training around the menopause transition, and the research community is just starting to see menopause as a viable and valuable area of research and funding.
Because the research and medical training around menopause is slim to nonexistent, my doctor didn’t really have a good solution for me to manage my symptoms. There is a history of cancer in my family, so hormone-replacement therapy (HRT) is not a good option for me, and my doctor and I both agree that antidepressants aren’t the solution for my mood swings. Ultimately, I started a company focused on providing women the tools they need, including all-natural symptom relief, to better manage their menopausal transition.
For me, though, the biggest thing I think we need to do is fundamentally change how we think about and approach menopause as a society. This really boils down to a social issue, rather than a “women’s issue.” It’s an issue of equitable health, because women are often just treated as “small males” when in reality, there’s this whole other system in women’s bodies that men simply don’t have. It’s an issue of equitable employment, as the impact of severe symptoms can manifest at work, resulting in a woman’s inability to progress in her career.
What to Do About Perimenopause
Arming yourself with a plan to guide you through your menopause transition is the best way to keep you in control, rather than be at the whim of your fluctuating hormones. I like to think of it this way—Instead of roller coaster spikes of hormone fluctuations, you want to get them to be more like happy little beach waves. Your strategic plan should be guided by your doctor’s input if possible and should include the following:
- Eat Right
There are foods you can eat with phytoestrogens, such as soy, lentils, yams, and spinach, which can have a beneficial effect. You can also take a supplement with phytoestrogens to assist. You will also want to cut out foods that can trigger symptoms, like caffeine, sugar, and alcohol.
2. Take a Probiotic
The research around certain strains of probiotics is incredibly exciting when it comes to supporting women’s menopausal health. We are learning that one-third of overall health is dependent on the gut microbiome, those populations of bacteria that live in our guts and help with a number of physiological processes, including estrogen metabolism and modulation, and the processes in a woman’s body that rely on estrogens. They can also support better immune health, sleep, and can reduce cravings and improve metabolism.
3. Don’t Forget Your Fiber
Fiber has come a long way from the days of stirring that grainy stuff into a glass of water. We are learning that certain types of fibers impact specific types of bacteria in the gut microbiome. Increase the amount of fruit and vegetable fibers you eat. Those fibers will feed and support the beneficial bacteria in your gut that you need to support your estrogen metabolism and keep your estrogen fluctuations to the happy little beach waves we want.
4. Learn What You Can Expect
Much like a woman who is pregnant tries to find out what to expect from books, support groups, and other women’s experiences, menopause should be no different. Educate yourself on what the symptoms can be, what can cause or trigger them, and what other women are doing to address and mitigate those impacts.
5. Track Your Symptoms
In order to know what is causing your symptoms, start tracking them. It’s amazing the kinds of things that can trigger symptoms. Find a convenient way of tracking them, whether it’s a menopause health app, a spreadsheet, a column in your day planner—do whatever is easiest and works best for you. The easiest way to take charge of your symptoms is to best understand what triggers them so you can stop or modify those triggers.
More than 25 million women in the U.S. are in the menopause transition right now, and 6,000 more women in the U.S. start their transition every single day. Worldwide, there will be one million women in menopause in the next five years. If you are a woman in perimenopause or menopause, you are not alone! And if we act as a group, we can make the menopausal transition for the women behind us, and for ourselves, a much happier, healthier experience.
Interested in learning how to treat menopausal and perimenopausal skin? Don’t miss Menopausal Skincare: An Overdue Solution Whose Time Has Come.
