Research has shown that women cry an average of 5.3 times a month, while men cry much less at 1.3 times a month. But where do most of us find ourselves letting it all out? The answer for many is the shower.
With this in mind, the bathroom experts at Showers to You spoke to psychologists and counsellors to discover why we cry in the shower and reveal its benefits.
Here, Amber Johnston, clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist at Healthy Mind Psychology, and counselor Georgina Sturmer, MBACP, share their thoughts on this common practice and how it can impact our mental and physical wellbeing.
Why do we cry in the shower?
If you find yourself crying in the shower, you’re not alone. Showers to You recently revealed that 74 percent of people around the globe find themselves doing just that.
The shower is a comforting space where we are often alone with just our thoughts. As a result, many use this as an opportune moment to reflect on the day, sing Grammy-worthy performances, or for some, letting out their emotions by shedding some tears.
“It is possible to see an exponential effect of hot showers and crying to release the tension in the body and mind, return the body to a state of greater relaxation, and foster the chemicals that help us feel connected and lift mood,” says Johnston. “After this experience, a person may be in a better, relaxed state, possibly ready for sleep. Or additionally, a quick shot of cold water following the crying moments may help invigorate the body, readying them to get on with the day.”
According to Sturmer, we experience all kinds of emotions throughout the day, and we often have a need to explore or express these feelings. “Crying is a natural way for our bodies to release our pent-up feelings and to calm ourselves down,” she says. “Yet, we don’t always feel comfortable to shed tears when we need to. We might feel that our tears are inappropriate, embarrassing, or a sign of weakness. This is often based on messages that we absorbed when we were growing up, or the expectations of society around us. So, this can lead us to find a private moment when we feel that we can connect with our emotions and allow our tears to flow.”
Many people find themselves triggered to cry when they step into the shower. Wondering why the shower is such a cathartic place for so many? “When we are in the shower, it’s an opportunity to step away from the distractions of everyday life,” says Sturmer. “In a world where we are connected 24/7, and ‘on show’ much of the time, a shower might be one of the few places where we are truly just with ourselves. This sense of privacy and connection can help us to feel comfortable to connect with our emotions.”
Is crying good for you?
Crying is often considered to be a negative and something many people try to hold in or run away from, especially out of embarrassment. Johnston discusses some of the reasons why crying has its benefits:
- Reduces cortisol: The tears themselves can act like a detox from cortisol, considered the stress hormone, or additional toxins.
- Releases endorphins: Crying releases natural endorphins, which can both elevate mood or act as natural pain killers, as well as lead to a greater sense of relaxation (or maybe sleepiness) following a good cry.
- Stimulates the vagus nerve: Crying is linked to activating the parasympathetic nervous system (or the relaxation response), which is opposite of the fight or flight response, and therefore a natural antidote to a heightened state of tension.
How can showering be a mood booster?
Showering for many is a therapeutic experience and is often used to calm down. The benefits may differ depending on the shower temperature, according to Johnston.
Hot shower benefits
- Helps relax muscles and alleviates muscle pain or tension
- It can release oxytocin, a chemical for feeling better
- Post hot shower the body cools to a temperature conducive for sleep, letting you wind down easier
Cold shower benefits
- It helps release dopamine, stimulating a boost of energy and attentional focus, leaving a feel-good effect
- Cold showers can release endorphins to improve mood
- Cold water can improve circulation and increase heart rate, reducing fatigue and inflammation
- It helps build physical and psychological resilience
