So many of us struggle to find our true calling and path, at any age. We spend hours, weeks, or even years ruminating, weighing pros and cons of steps we can take and changes we can make to get closer to that elusive sense of purpose. But all too often, instead of finding answers, we wind up anxious and stressed, riddled with analysis paralysis.
I know this from personal experience. In the first 10 years after college, I tried more than 10 different roles and professions—from baker to tenant organizer to senior associate of investor relations. None were a perfect fit, but I had no idea what would be better.
Now I know what the issue was—I was trying to figure it all out in my head. It’s where most of us go when we have a problem to solve, because our culture encourages us to remedy everything with logic, reason, and analysis.
But our heads are just one source of innate wisdom. Our bodies are another. They’re constantly reading our current situation and offering nearly instantaneous wisdom and guidance based on information they’ve incorporated from within and around us, past and present experiences, as well as instinct and intuition. The problem is, we usually aren’t paying attention to them, or we don’t know how to interpret what they’re telling us, because our culture is disconnected from the wisdom of the human body. I explore this idea in my new novel This Animal Body.
Reconnecting with my own body’s wisdom has helped me find my unique purpose and realign my career with my strengths and passions—helping others heal from anxiety, find their calling, and thrive. I’ve done this as an author and coach for the last 14 years and have never looked back.
Here’s how you can tap into your own body’s wisdom:
Learn the language of your body.
Because our culture trains us to ignore our bodies, the way they speak to us can feel like a foreign language. My favorite place to begin with any foreign language is to learn “yes” and “no.” You can do this with your body by pausing when you’re in situations that bring up stronger-than-usual feelings, either positive or negative, and noticing what sensations you feel in your body and where you feel them. Pay particular attention to your core, as in my experience, most people feel things more easily in the belly, chest, throat, or shoulders. The sensations you notice in positive situations when you’re doing something you like are how your body says “yes.” The ones from negative situations you can’t wait to get out of are how your body says “no.”
Observe your body over time.
Once you know your baselines, you can track your body’s responses throughout the day. When do you notice your “Yes Body” sensations? What’s your best sense of what your body is saying yes to? When do you notice your “No Body” sensations? What’s your best sense of what your body is saying no to? It’s helpful to take notes so you can track patterns over time. Asking these questions for at least a couple weeks can not only lead to profound insights, but it also helps us get in the habit of checking in with our bodies more.
Practice moving your attention from your brain to your body.
Speaking of habits, most of us spend 99 percent of our time in our heads—planning, preparing, remembering, worrying, ruminating, or otherwise paying attention to our thoughts. Shifting attention from our brains to our bodies as a practice can not only help us tune into their wisdom but also reduce anxiety and build the habit of being more present to what’s happening right now. You can do this with a body scan, yoga, or walking meditation. One of my favorite methods is sit outside and alternately focus on each of my senses—what I’m seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and feeling on and under my skin. The key is to notice when you’ve gotten wrapped up in your thoughts again (it’s inevitable and not a sign you’re doing anything wrong), then gently return your attention to your body.
Study your body’s responses like a scientist.
There are a lot of nuances to what our bodies can tell us beyond simply “yes” and “no.” Observing carefully and taking notes over time can help us expand our vocabulary. By being curious, we can learn the difference between common misinterpretations, such as fear versus an actual “no,” or what’s habitual and familiar versus a true “yes.”
Experiment with making decisions based on your body’s wisdom and track what happens.
Start with small experiments where you decide what to eat for lunch or how to spend a free evening based on what your body’s saying yes to. Write down the decision you made, what body sensations led to that decision, and what happens, both in terms of external results and how you feel. Work your way up to bigger decisions with more at stake. Over time, you’ll gather evidence about what happens when you listen to your body and likely learn to trust it more as you see for yourself what happens when you do.
Some of the decisions I’ve made based on my body’s wisdom felt scary and involved huge investments of time and money—like moving across the country back to my hometown, buying and renovating a house, or changing careers and getting credentialed as a coach. Many contradicted conventional wisdom, logic, or the advice of those around me. All of them resulted in greater freedom and fulfillment and took me closer to what I longed for, even if I had no idea how they would at the time.
That’s the beauty of our bodies—they know things our brains don’t. I’ve found no better way to create a unique and meaningful life that allows us to contribute our greatest gifts to the world than by incorporating that wisdom into all that we do.