“Dr. Leary, I feel so much better, but now my social life sucks!” In the first five years of my practice, this was a commonly recurring sentiment I heard in hundreds of variations from my patients who were able to resolve their health issues but felt it came with a cost—a lack of human interaction.
Part of my role in taking on a patient and beginning to help them tackle their health problems is to first teach them that I alone cannot make them healthy. It’s my job as a concierge wellness doctor to facilitate, speed up the healing process, act as an educator, and be there to support them along the way in their journey to wellness. But at the end of the day, it is up to the individual to take control of their health, using the tools and resources I have provided, to better their overall wellbeing. When this is understood and implemented, it does require a lot of lifestyle changes to start healing, such as less partying, prioritizing sleep, adopting a healthier diet, and more. The upside of these changes is that patients do get better and see lasting results. The downside? It can sometimes be an isolating experience, one of the greatest health issues yet.
The Importance of Human Connection
What many people don’t truly understand is that human connection can be the most important form of self-care, as it is critical to our wellbeing. A recent study showed that, while obesity reduces longevity by 20 percent, drinking by 30 percent, and smoking by 50 percent, loneliness reduces it by a whopping 70 percent. Another study suggests that loneliness also increases your chance of stroke or coronary heart disease—the leading cause of death in developed countries—by 30 percent. Ultimately, the benefits of social connection can strengthen our immune system, lengthen our life span, and lower rates of anxiety and depression. It’s not just about being busy or having a full social calendar, our health is quite literally dependent on fulfilling levels of human connection.
Analyzing this concept over the years, I found human interaction to be so important to my practice and the healing process. I began to wonder why almost everything we do to socialize is surrounded by temptations or toxins. This realization posed a difficult challenge for me. How could you live a healthy, balanced lifestyle while also maintaining an active social life?
The answer? Social self-care. It’s what I had in mind when I founded Remedy Place, a social wellness club in Los Angeles. I wanted to create a destination that promoted mind-body balance while also forming a community of like-minded individuals, enhancing guests’ health and social lives at the same time.
Remedy Place is a wellness-focused substitution for the day-to-day activities people normally work into their schedules to socialize, minus the toxins and other stressors. This can include everything from date night to professional meetings, hanging out with friends after work to celebrating a birthday or corporate outing, and even listening to live music or going to the movies. Experiencing healing treatments together offers a fun socializing alternative that simultaneously has a positive correlation with enhancing various service benefits and overall health. Self-care shouldn’t be about having to choose between one or the other, but rather achieving a sense of harmony between your wellness practices and your social calendar. At Remedy Place, we call this concept “social self-care.”
Feeling that heightened sense of self and sharing it with someone else not only enhances this sensation, but it also creates a lasting, more meaningful connection between you and whomever you shared this experience with that day. This extra shine or glow will not only attract more good and opportunity, but it will also ripple into every other aspect of your life. That is the power of social self-care.
Where to Begin
- Analyze The “Why”- Remember, only you can take control of your health and have the power to make the necessary changes to your lifestyle. It is important to make sure this is truly what you want before starting.
- Analyze Your Stress- Write out a list of all the things that you believe have a negative effect on your health, or what you see as a stress on your body and mind. This will tell us how much self-care you should be adding into your routine and what remedies will be best to bring you back to a state of balance.
- Analyze Your Social Life – List out all the things you do on a regular basis, including when you socialize. Which ones are healthy and which ones are adding to your stress, or are potentially damaging to your health? Now you must choose which ones you want to give up, and which ones are worthwhile to keep. Remember: You do NOT want you to cut out all the fun things you do in your life, especially if you love them.
The Logistics
- How dedicated are you to feeling better?
- How badly do you want to make a positive impact on your health?
- How much time do you have or want to commit to your wellbeing?
- Do you have a budget? If so, what is it? (PS: You’ll also likely have lots of extra cash by minimizing or eliminating your bar tabs!)
The Plan
Once you have a better understanding of your lifestyle and your commitment to wellness, it is time to figure out how you are going to balance things and integrate this commitment to wellness into your every day. Routines are powerful. When healthy practices are easy to incorporate into your normal schedule and are implemented regularly, they become habits.
Involve Your Social Circle
The possibilities for strengthening your personal relationships and practice through social self-care are endless. This can include experiences with:
- A new exciting date
- A partner
- Your coworkers
- Your gym buddy
- Your family
- A business partner
- Your best friend
- A group of friends
The Alignment
You want to make sure the backdrop for your newfound self-care habits and the professionals who are administering them are a perfect match for you. Everyone is different, and it must feel right.
The Fun Part
Once you begin your self-care journey, you start to see just how good you can feel, and you understand there is no limit to what you can achieve when you are in control of your health. It truly becomes addicting (in the best of ways).
Remember, the more stress, the more self-care you need. The less stress, the less you need. Either way, there is no such thing as too much self-care. Make sure to give back to the body that is working so hard for you.
